The Grief That Starts Before They Die | Terri Chaplin

Nobody brings you a meal until after the funeral. But the grief often starts years earlier, and most people have no name for what they are feeling. In this episode, Terri Chaplin, a Certified Grief Companion, HeartMath Certified Mentor, and creator of two grief certification programs, joins host Niki Weiss to talk about anticipatory grief, why it does not prepare you for the loss, and why the person who is dying and the person caring for them are often grieving in the same room without either one saying so. CHAPTERS 0:00 Meet Terri Chaplin 0:35 Why grievers get judged, and why she talks about it publicly 1:50 Losing her first husband after five and a half years of caregiving 4:38 What anticipatory grief actually is 5:20 The misconception that grieving early prepares you 6:43 When denial delays the grief until after the death 7:57 Nobody checks in until there is a funeral 8:19 Two people grieving in the same room, neither one naming it 9:00 Grief has many faces, and sadness is only one of them 10:40 Anger at the illness, at the situation, and at the person who is sick 11:37 Anger and guilt at the same time 12:23 Why feeling that way does not make you a bad person 13:00 Why the intensity of grief reflects the depth of the love 14:46 Why platitudes and silver linings fail 14:59 Grieving alone in 1979, before we had the words for it 16:31 Why no culture does grief particularly well 17:00 What grief does to your nervous system 17:44 What most of us were taught: don't show emotion 18:54 Why caregivers have to take care of themselves first 20:06 Grief bots, AI, and why she will not automate her own voice 22:24 Could a grief bot keep someone stuck in the cycle 23:13 We do not move on, we learn to carry it differently 24:40 Fourteen years since her son died 26:38 What HeartMath is 26:57 Heart focused breathing, step by step 29:53 Grief in the workplace: absenteeism, turnover, and productivity 30:58 Two things you can do today WHAT YOU WILL LEARN - What anticipatory grief is and why it does not soften the loss when it comes - The faces grief wears besides sadness: anxiety, anger, exhaustion, and guilt - Why anger toward a sick loved one is common and not a character failure - How heart focused breathing works and how to use it in the moment - Why the goal is not to move on but to learn to carry grief and love together Live fully, die ready. Start your plan and take the free assessment: https://finalplaybook.com/main-page LISTEN TO THE PODCAST Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/death-and-dying-in-the-digital-age/id1775499012 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2MQkOgvyPQnLEz1fO9BHkY Subscribe: @DigitalLegacyPodcast FOLLOW US Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/endevo_digitallegacy/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@endevo_digitallegacy Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/endevo.digitallegacy Download the My Final Playbook app: Apple App Store: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/my-final-playbook/id6791298756 Google Play: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=endevo.life.finalplaybook #deathanddyinginthedigitalage #ENDevo #digitallegacy #myfinalplaybook Disclaimer: This channel is for educational purposes only and does not provide medical, legal, or financial advice. Views expressed by the host and guests are their own. Always consult qualified professionals before making decisions. The channel is not responsible for actions taken based on its content. Re-uploads or ANY use of our content is prohibited.