Childfree Estate Planning: Who Will Speak for You?

If you don't have children, estate planning comes down to a question most plans assume away: who makes decisions for you, and who inherits, when there is no obvious next person? If you don't name anyone, your state's law decides, and the answer may be a relative you barely know, a court, or, if no relative can be found, the state itself.

That isn't a reason to put it off. It's the reason to do it now, while the choice is still yours.

On this episode of the Digital Legacy Podcast, I spoke with Bri Conn, who works with clients on financial planning at Childfree Wealth. She met the company's founder in a Facebook group for people who didn't have kids, at the end of 2022, and they clicked. Her interest in estate planning comes from watching death happen in her own family, up close.

One of the first things Bri's team checks in a financial plan is whether a client's estate documents are in order. Over and over, they weren't. “Not because they didn't know what needed to happen or because they didn't want to do it,” she said, “but because they couldn't find a solution to actually have people fill in those roles of executor, trustee, medical, and financial power of attorney.”

Why is estate planning different when you don't have children?

Most estate plans quietly assume there are adult children to step in, as executor, as power of attorney and as heirs. Take the children out and those roles can sit empty.

It's a growing group. Bri pointed to a Michigan study from a few years ago that found “about one fourth of people don't have kids and are not planning on having kids.” I see more solo agers every year.

Bri is careful with language. She uses “childfree” for people who don't have kids by choice, and “childless” for people who got there by circumstance. “We do want to be respectful of people who got there in a situation that maybe wasn't joyful or exciting for them,” she said. She never asks clients how they got there.

What happens if you die without a will and have no children?

Your state decides. Each state has what Bri calls an intestacy chart, an order of who inherits when there is no will. It generally runs from a spouse to children, then parents, siblings and more distant relatives such as nieces and nephews. The details vary by state. “If nobody ends up with it,” Bri said, “then your money and your assets go to the state at the end.”

That chart is how “laughing heirs” happen. A laughing heir is a distant relative who inherits from someone they barely knew, simply because they were next in line. Some of Bri's clients know exactly who theirs would be. Without a will, she said, that person may “just get the money and go, haha, great, didn't know you. But thanks. That is a laughing heir.”

The version I hear is the knock on the door: a great-aunt you met once as a child has left you everything. It feels like winning the lottery, and it happens because nothing was written down.

Bri's advice was short. “Please document things and get it written down.”

Who should be your medical power of attorney?

Bri calls the medical power of attorney “probably one of the most important ones, because you want somebody to make medical decisions for you while you're alive that are in line with your values and what you would pick, versus somebody who is appointed by the court.”

We talked about Terri Schiavo. In 1990, at 26, she had a cardiac arrest that left her with severe brain damage. She had no written instructions. Her husband said she had told him she would not want to be kept alive that way, and her parents disagreed. The fight went through the courts for years, until 2005.

“He said that they had pillow talk every night,” Bri said. “It went back and forth and back and forth of who's able to make that decision, because nothing was documented down and signed.”

So who do you name? Bri starts with a conversation, not a form. “I don't think there's anything worse than surprise finding out that you are medical power of attorney for somebody,” she said. Ask two things: do you trust this person, and are they comfortable taking it on? If you can't even have that conversation with someone, Bri said, “it might not be the best fit.”

Be wary of filling the role with a relative you barely know, especially one who also inherits. Bri once had a client consider naming a nephew they didn't really know, with the inheritance as the incentive. The problem is that every dollar spent on your care comes out of what he inherits. “Is that nephew gonna be incentivized to actually spend money on your care and improve that care?” Bri asked.

What if there's nobody you would trust to do it?

You can name a professional. Bri said that professionals who serve as executor, trustee or financial power of attorney often “have large asset minimums. They want to charge you a percentage, and they want you to be over $5 million in assets before they can serve you.” That rules out most people, including many childfree people who plan to spend down their assets over their lifetime.

That gap is why her team created Childfree Trust. According to Bri, it can be named, with a partner trust company, as executor, trustee, and medical and financial power of attorney, in all 50 states and DC. Some clients want a professional in every role. Others name a person first, with the company as backup if that person can't or won't serve. Whichever way you go, compare options and ask an estate attorney in your state who can legally serve in each role.

For more on fiduciaries, listen to my conversation with Stephanie Rosso, The Solo Ager's Safety Net: Why You Need a Fiduciary, Not Just a Will. And if you're weighing a person for the executor role, read Why Choosing the Right Executor Could Save Your Family Years of Stress.

How do you make sure your wishes can be found when it matters?

Legal documents are the start, but in Bri's view they “don't go far enough.” Whoever steps in will also need the practical details: where your accounts are and how your bills get paid, so they can close up your life cleanly.

Write down what you want for long-term care, too. If you've prepaid for care, or put your name on a waiting list, say so and keep a copy of the contract. In a 2025 survey, Bri's team found that about 75% of the childfree people they surveyed have pets, and for some of them, keeping a pet in a long-term care facility is a priority.

Then make it easy to find in an emergency. Bri suggests putting important numbers and emergency contacts on the fridge and an emergency contact in your phone. A runner and hiker, she wears an ID band with her power of attorney's phone numbers, her name, her birth date and any allergies. “Making it easy for people to find that information is so incredibly important,” she said.

That cuts both ways. You get the care you need faster, and you're less likely to get care you don't want. Without written wishes, Bri said, people make the best decisions they can, “but those best decisions might not be the decisions that you would make.”

Don't let the need for perfect answers stop you. “They have to have the perfect answers. You do not,” Bri said. “You are able to update your documents as long as you are still of sound mind.”

The way I put it: document, execute, communicate, and then iterate. Look at your documents at least once a year and after any big life event, and do a thorough review every three years to make sure the people you named still belong there. Telling those people is its own step. We wrote about it in Who Will Know What to Do When You Cannot.

Bri's closing advice was the same: start thinking through who you can put on your documents today, and make a plan to get them “done, executed, and communicated.”

Frequently asked questions

Who inherits if I die without a will and have no children?

Your state's intestacy law decides. It generally looks to a spouse first, then parents, siblings and more distant relatives, and if no relative can be found, your assets can go to the state. The order varies by state, so check with an estate attorney.

Can I name a professional as my medical power of attorney?

It depends on your state's rules for who can serve as a health care agent. Bri Conn's company, Childfree Trust, offers professional fiduciary services that include the medical power of attorney role. Ask any provider about fees and asset minimums, and confirm with an estate attorney what your state allows.

How often should I update my estate documents?

You can update them for as long as you are of sound mind, so you don't need perfect answers to start. Look at them at least once a year and after any major life event. Every few years, do a full review to make sure the people you named are still the right ones.

Listen and take the next step

Listen to my full conversation with Bri Conn, Childfree Estate Planning, on the Digital Legacy Podcast. You can find her team's trust service at childfreetrust.com, and their podcast and resources at childfreeinsights.com.

If you don't have an obvious next person and want to see what you'd need to put in place, and in what order, start here.

Live fully, die ready.

This article is educational and does not provide legal or financial advice. Rules vary by state. Consult an estate attorney or financial professional about your situation.